To Infinity And Beyond

Kace is my Space nut, he knows that Buzz Aldrin in as amazing person with so many accomplishments, he secretly ponders why everybody thinks Neil is the greatest, and if you do your research the most popular picture of the man on the moon that is so often mistaken for Neil is actually a picture of Buzz and Neil is the photographer.
In fact if Space is brought up in a conversation Kace finds his way right into it, just like my dad... I remember one time at a birthday party for some of my nieces and nephews I was looking at a wall with Planets and other things on it at the party place and my boyfriend at the time mentioned something with-in ear shot of my dad and my dad was in that conversation with-in seconds. So I really enjoy and support Kace and his love of Space, not to mention his dream to be the first astronaut to walk on Mars... They say this could happen around 2022.


Kace recently got to experience an amazing summer vacation. This year we decided that for his birthday he would get to go to Kennedy Space Center and take in all that is fascinating for him. The best part is he got to go with Grandma. Kace and Grandma get along really well and since my mom has been there before she knew what would be the best places that he would enjoy. They spent 2 entire days at the Space Center alone and probably would've spent their entire vacation there. I wasn't there to share all the things that they did together or want to even try and make sure I have the stories correct, but wanted to share the happy face of my amazing 10 year old and let him have the awesome memories of a vacation that will be forever special to just him and Grandma. Thanks Mom!!

This Sucks

Happy Birthday Kace!!! I cant believe your making me so OLD!!!

So I haven't written in a while... for an understatement. Where does time go and yet what I am going to write about is totally a true testimony to where time goes... and the older a person gets the more regrets a person has about choices in the past. And moreover it just completely sucks that I am writing about this since I haven't written in a while and I didn't have the guts to simply pick up the phone.

I have an identical twin sister and her and her husband moved a gazillion miles away, which at first I was like whatever, I pulled my stubborn attitude together and used it to never talk to them again.

I liked the way Melinda put it... "mis-communication". Michal my therapist always says there is 3 sides to every story, mine, theirs and then somewhere in the middle is the truth, and not that anyone is lying or extorting the story any more than the other, just simply that each person takes a certain conversation or situation the way they want to take it, whether it was meant that way or not, and then there is the way things get handled...especially if it brings on what I call the 'mama bear' behavior. And this goes for anyone, but if I feel an attack on me and my kids I am all defense regardless of the true circumstances.... so in short since my sister moved, and before that we have not spoken in a year. I have still viewed my sisters blog, I love her kids and I love being an aunt and even though I took my crappy life situation out on them and it was misunderstood I still love and miss every one of them. I just wasn't big enough to do a damn thing about it. good thing I have the twin sister I do!

So today I read her blog, you can catch it here [http://www.howerton6.blogspot.com/]

and so famously of my sister she made me cry at work... she always knows just when to catch me off guard. Everything my sister said about sisters is true, she nailed my older sister to the T and I am thanking the heavens above she was so gracious when talking about me, because it could have been much worse and it has been. So time for me to say ...
I'm Sorry. it wasn't you, it was me. Just to name a few... how could you possibly be jealous of me? There was a hidden bitterness about our dad passing away and you still had mom, I mean you always had a better relationship with her and I felt like I got a short stick when dad was no longer here, not to mention that even though you and Cory struggled your blessings were more than I could ever want and Cory was and is a lot like the father I miss so much.
You have an amazing marriage, great and adorable kids and even though my relationship with mom is the best it has ever been, I still feel isolated from the bond I see that you have with her.
You say I am more pretty and a better dresser, but you're my IDENTICAL twin sister... so I don't see how that could be. I hide my spiritual feelings, I am more reserved about that side of things and both my sisters are much more open and warm about it, the beauty from that alone just makes you glow beyond any haircut or purse that I have to try and even feel comparable to you.
So in short, you are my better half, my example and yet a pain in the rear for making me cry and always being the bigger person and ending this stupid crap!

I love you and Cory and hope that we can all understand one another better each and every time.

Fell Off the Planet

Well it almost feels that way. I have been so shy on my blog. Silly thing is when you don't have a job, it makes it easy to forget a lot of things a person used to do as a routine. I have grasped my freedom, independence and feeling stress free. Almost too much... I am bored... crazy bored sitting at home, running silly errands. All things I desired a few months ago and all things I DIDN'T have time for before. I'm really not complaining, this boredom has allowed me to search deeper... question myself, what I can do for me that I want to do just because, and my answer... GIVE. Yep, what can I give to others, for free? My Time. It doesn't cost a thing and usually I am the one still left reaping the reward of giving, volunteering and sharing. Wow, that's a great win!

I have started looking for a job, reading classifieds, checking out websites and search engines. I know that a job search can take a few months and I want to be pro-active... not stressed and panic when the money is gone. I wanted to know what was out there, what kind of job I wanted to do. I have the moment to be picky right now and what ever job I choose may be the one I retire on I want to be happy with it... so I found it. Why not get paid to help other people. There are actually quite a few jobs that could fit this. There are your public servant positions and there are your media positions... Getting a job where my nose can be in something I enjoy and where I feel I make a difference. Soooo, no longer doing mortgages... I have also realized that the pay will be less, but I feel my blessings and joys will be more rewarding.

I sent out several resumes and have already had interviews on a few. I wont know until next week the results of those, but now I am conflicted... these positions are looking to be filled sooner than I anticipated. Do I take a job early than planned? I would need to work out day care and what about my volunteer commitments?
Also Katie is going to have puppies in a few weeks and I am a little concerned if she has her puppies when I am not home... you know the "what if something goes wrong" factor....

The boys are leaving for Christmas to Mexico with their dad in 3 weeks and I want to spend the time with them until they go. I have read up on "knock em dead" resumes, cover letters and interviews, but I have found nothing on how to delay a job offer without upsetting the person who has graciously offered it.

Uggh dilemmas and they are not necessarily bad ones.