Silent Exit

I received a phone call yesterday right before I was about to take my son to see a movie. It was my mother and it was Sunday. I imagined she was lonely and was going to ask me to come visit her. I was wrong.

It isn't like what she was about to tell me should be that big of a surprise but when death happens whether it be expected or not it is always a shock. She delivered the news that my grandfather past away on Saturday. He suffered declining health from a recent fall and essentially lost his will to continue living. He was older and had outlived 3 wives and his only 2 sons (my father being one of them). He had quite the life and the stories to go with it. It is hard to feel sad that he left this world, simply because he can now be with the majority of his family again on the other side. I actually feel more mourning and sympathetic feelings towards my Aunt who will no doubt be the last person to bury every single one of her family members. I honor her for that and the strength she carries to move forward with this process of a very big burden on her heart and soul.

My grandfather served his life and career in the military, he was a B 17 bombardier and fought in WWII bringing with him the physical and mental wounds from his missions. He flirted with death so many times and in the end, he really was the winner. Living a long life... I shamefully did not know my grandfather or the full length of his stories and life. I learned the majority of these stories through my own father, who admired his dad and gave him a tribute to his many years in the service and accomplishments. My father made a website to tribute his dad and his 50 missions. This website is still up, unknown how much longer it will be though. www.50missions.net.

I think sometimes how so many people do so many great things in their lifetime, most of them humble about their charities and accomplishments and then they take a small bow and silently exit this earth without few people knowing what a great person they were. Even I feel as though I did not take full advantage of the awesome man that was my grandfather. And sadly like so many others, it is to late to start.

Truce

Okay I give in.
You win... the fights, the gossip, the tickets, the stress that has caused loss of appetite and sleep deprivation. I call a truce 2007, you and me, starting over... new day and new year. I don't want a repeat of last year. I want success, happiness with my family and my self, I want to find the perfect fit to me. Can you please let the past few months go, put both feet into today and be ready to step into tomorrow? I would be forever grateful and will never forget you. In fact I will look back and say "2007, that was a great year and great memories".
So Truce my friend. Lets rock this year like never before!
Love,
Me :)

Is it over?... Good riddance

Well the day was here and now it is gone. The proof is that I am at work, the guy who is standing out on the corner holding the sign that directs you to the mattress store... Is proof. I was not fortunate to still maintain "vacation" status like many others, and it is so very boring and slow today at work. I slipped out at lunch and brought my boys back to the office with me. They are playing with their new electronics and I am typing this blog. I could think of other productive things to do, but sometimes you have to let things be the way they are. I am grateful for the job that I have. To be able to bring my boys in when ever I want... That is a pretty nice luxury.

Christmas was a very nice holiday this year, like the rest of this year it was gone too quickly. I finished my 12 days of Christmas to a family I chose. Every night I delivered, I discovered something new. One of the boys was in my son's class, the mother always donated all of her time and effort to that class. I don't know if she was recognized for it at all if any, but I wanted her to know that I thought she was a pretty special person to do that. The first 3 nights I delivered I discovered that she did not have a door mat. I purchased one for her and it was out the next night. The night after that... A Christmas tree was put up and following the tree was the lights.
I saw her Christmas come alive, I would like to think it was in part by me. What I did not realize until 2 days before Christmas was that her husband is a long haul truck driver, that explained why I never saw him and then suddenly a Semi was parked in front of their house. She stays home taking care of home and family all day long every day, that is exhausting work. Christmas Eve, it was I who received a surprise, on her front door was a brown bag with a card that read "To our Secret Santa", She expressed her gratitude for our gifts and sweet thoughts, how much they loved the attention and promised to "pay it forward" next year. Inside the brown bag was an angel ornament, I can only guess that is because she thought of us that way. I am blessed to have brought love to another, and only wish that it was more common for others to help out. I was only trying to show appreciation and it was obvious that our secret visits brought much more. Next year we will find another family to share with and continue to pay it forward.

For the family, me, my Mother and twin sister made scrapbooks full of memories of my dad, for each and every kid (6 of us) and then a Grandpa and Me book for all the grandkids (too many to count) because my sister and I were involved in this project she made my scrapbook and I made hers. We exchanged them and admired the work and love that went into these books. I opened mine up and cried at the first page. I can't say it will ever get easier to look through these pages and not cry out the memories I have. This Christmas was about so much more than material things. I didn't officially bring the "real" meaning to my boys, we shared no stories of the birth of Christ, but I still felt a wonderful Christmas spirit and that's what was apparent to my boys and is good enough for me.