Do I know you?

I got a email today that was from a friend who usually only sends the "fwd" ones. Typically they are good though and as I was reading it, it backed up exactly what I was thinking about for the past few days. Below is a phrase on the email that was sent to me.

There are four things you can not recover.
The stone...after the throw.
The word...after it's said.
The occasion...after the loss.
The time...after it's gone.

I always try and think of what is going on in someone else's life...walk in their shoes if you will. It's makes you think twice about how you would react to a word or action. For instance over Christmas I selected a family for 12 days of Christmas that I saw as an amazing family and even though I didn't know them very well and they were not a family I would probably associate myself with I knew just how much they needed to know that they were a great family. In fact earlier I judged them too quickly. In the beginning of the school year scouts had just began and it was orientation night. One family stuck out like a sore thumb, the mother had no control over her children and she was loud and didn't seem to care that people were watching her yell at her kids with no care. She appeared to be a horrible mother. All the while the father sat there like he saw or heard none of this.
I later found out her son is autistic, she is just a loud spoken person by nature and a wonderful person around kids. She has a very creative touch and is the first to step up, volunteer and give a helping hand.

I will always remember the actions of a complete stranger, who I will always remember and who left a mark in my mind. It is quite an eye opener what humans will do for others.

* The teenage girl in the grocery store:
I was a young mother with my first newborn child. Our house needed groceries bad, I ventured to the store and spent way to long up and down the aisles so when it came time to pay for the groceries my young newborn had had enough of his car seat and was screaming at the top of his lungs. He was my first and I didn't want people staring at me, let alone I couldn't stand to see him suffer. I struggled to bag my groceries and sooth him the best I could, I felt as if the people in the line behind me were frustrated with the situation too... I was embarrassed and just wanted out of there. Then up comes a girl without saying much to me she starts bagging my groceries, I smile gratefully and was able to calm my child down. The girl's mother came up to her daughter because they were done with their needs in the store and she instructed the daughter to come with her. The daughter simply explained that she was helping me and that her mom could help to. I watched her mother set the pizza down and help her daughter with my groceries. I couldn't believe it! I cry to this day to think of the selfless act of that girl, who no doubt impressed me,her mother and the others around her to help someone in need. I am sure she has NO idea how much I appreciated that and still 9 years later she still has an impression on me.

Flashback

I still remember every detail like it was yesterday, and when I say his name I still can not say it or talk about him without crying.
Death is a weird thing, well maybe not weird, but it is so unknown and there is alot of grey areas. When someone close to you dies you know there were bad or not-so-great moments that you experienced with them or heard them telling you, but when they are no longer around, you can only think of how amazingly wonderful that person was, all the good, selfless acts, the hugs, laughs and comfort of knowing they were around.
It was February 18th, 2006 at 1:30 in the morning my doorbell rang. I was in a dead sleep and not even my dog barked. I sprang out of bed instantly grabbed my bat and went to the front door. I had someone in my bed that wasn't suppose to be there and in the back of my mind I was wondering what he was doing. I mean who else knocks at your door at 1:30AM? I look through the peep hole and asked who it is. "Tualatin Police Department" I slowly open the door to see just one police officer at my door. I knew they were not there for 'him'. The officer apologizes for waking me and announces that I have a family emergency as he hands me a small piece of paper with a name and number on it. My heart sank I knew what it was... I must have done something as I heard him say those words as he asked me if I was going to be okay and if I needed him to stay why I made the call. I stuttered and scrambled to go for my phone... .mumbling to myself questioning why they didn't call me, I have a phone why didn't they call me? The officer said he didn't know and asked again if I was going to be okay. I told him I needed to go to my phone and quickly shut the door. I ran back to my room to find him standing in my closet behind the door with his hand over the dogs mouth as to not cause attention. He kept asking me what they wanted, solely out of concern for himself at that moment. "it's bad, I just know it... it's my dad". I didn't officially know it because the piece of paper had one name and one number on it. Nancy. She was my brothers wife. So it could have been anyone in my family.

A thousand things were racing through my mind as I drop to the floor by the wall to reach for my cell phone it was only a few feet from my bed and I was still wondering why I had not heard it. I looked at the screen. 5 missed calls, 3 new voice mails. Shit! This is bad.
I call Nancy, she has a very soft spoken, sweet voice, but I couldn't hear any emotion come out of her voice. She tells me to call my moms cell phone. I hang up and quickly start dialing my mom and the guy who shouldn't be there is standing in the corner still asking me what is going on. I don't answer him.
The phone picks up, the first thing said was my name. and not like a are you sitting down way of saying someones name, but a where the hell have you been way.
I just tell him to tell me. "it's dad" .... I know its dad just tell me! I scream at him."dad died". I drop, my whole body drops, my phone drops, I can't sink far enough to the floor... I'm numb and in shock, then suddenly tears. So many tears as I try and listen to my brother tell me what happened. "J is coming to get you, he should be there soon. We tried getting ahold of you, but finally we decided we needed to have the police come and make sure you were okay too." I don't know why I didn't hear my phone?!!I kept repeating this. right then I feel arms across me, he doesn't know what to do, but he has never seen me cry like that... He just tries to hold me.
I get off the phone with my brother and listen to the voice messages on my phone. I can hear the panic in my brothers voice and I can hear a lot of activity going on in the back ground. I learned later that all that noise was the EMT's working on my dad. The last 2 messages were both my mom, broken up, I couldn't get all the details, but she was trying to give me updates and pleading with me to call her.
My brother is at my door. I grab him and he holds me tight as we cry in each others arms. He notices out of the corner of his eye that "he" is there. I try and explain, but it wasn't the moment nor was it important anymore. I have my makeup bag (I know vain) and my bible. Its funny the things a person thinks to get at a time like that. I had no need for either. I get in my brothers car and "he" is driving behind us in mine. My brother is listening to Enya. I didn't know what to say, I asked him for more details, he tells me he was there when dad dropped and how he went fast. My brother tells me he brought dads phone and he wants me to open it up. the picture on the main screen was a picture of me. It was right then I knew why I didn't hear my phone, there was a plan, gods plan maybe, my fathers? I wasn't supposed to know right away. My dad always worried about how much I worried about him and his health.
We arrived at my moms I walk through the door there are quiet looks, some are at "him" with inside inquiries as to why he is there, but nothing is spoken about it. I see my mom sitting on the couch... my fathers oversize ring on her petite finger. His glasses and wallet next to her on the table. It was all to surreal. He isn't going to come down the hallway from the back rooms to greet me. He is gone.
I started cleaning. I cleaned until 730am, then my mother sent me home to rest.

A Fabulous "Wii"kend

We did it... we joined the ranks of the thousands of Harry Potter fans, we stood in line until our legs were going to fall off for the midnight sale of the final book. Kace hasn't read all the books... we have however seen all the movies that are out though and he has been a loving wizard fan for years. Normally I would do my best to wiggle out of such a parent torture as standing in line for hours for a book that was sure to be available during normal muggle hours, but for one great kid, for one special occasion we did it. Kace turned 9 at the stroke of midnight, the minute Harry Potter was flying off the shelves we did a count down for a year older. He received birthday greetings from those around him and it was a great memory for him. We Finally got through the everlasting line and started home at 2am!... yep from 8pm to 2am... I don't think he can ever say I don't love him, that was pure sacrifice for me...as I enjoy my sleep and like to maintain a 9pm bedtime.
The following day we continued the day with "boy-stuff".. playing in the arcade, a game of lazertag and a trip to the pet shop to adore the cute dogs and other things boys think are cool.
I always knew the day I gave up looking for the Nintendo Wii that we would fall upon one to finally own. It just so happened that it made my son feel like his birthday was the luckiest of all. There was a game store next to the pet shop, and they were having a game competition. The boys went in to see if they had any Wii's and of course check out the competition. The store would typically be out of the Nintendo Wii's just like everyone else, but they received a special shipment for this competition and there was 2 left. It didn't take much for the gleam in the eyes of my wonderful boys to do what I knew I had to do. We quickly took home our purchase and have been enjoying it since.
The boys had a great weekend and it was nice to spend some fun time with them. Not to mention feeling like the "coolest" mom ever.

Kace is a great kid. He is sensitive to the feelings of those around him, he loves reading, space, chess, Harry Potter, playing in the water, the color green, building Lego's and leaving his hair long.
yep, I'm a pretty lucky mom too!