Do you ever feel that you are meant for something better. I think of all the things that are going well for me, yet somehow it doesn't seem to be enough... I want more.
I should be happy and content with what I have. I am not looking to be filthy rich (although it would be nice) I know money doesn't buy happiness, it can bring peace of mind financially though.
Mostly I know I am meant to be something more for me, to write and share my story? To be an advocate of something? I strive everyday at work to show I am worth that paycheck, that I am a leader, reliable, smart and innovative. I strive at home with the boys... Showing them how a family can be even if there isn't a dad around everyday. I can cook, clean, help with homework and fix things around the house. I am a superwoman and yet... I want more.
I'm religious; in my heart. I don't go to church every Sunday or read scriptures or say my prayers everyday. I know a relationship with god is important and a form of religion is important for families, but no need for over kill.
There is something out there for me that I can take on and feel ultimate success, ultimate happiness, ultimate peace. This isn't about worldly and material things, this is about finding something better within myself using the talent to be. To be great in my own eyes.
I want something better for myself. Where I don't feel the sluggish thoughts of "just another day" I quote Brooke Noel "something great is going to happen today, I cant wait to see what it is!". I am not sabotaging myself, and I appreciate all the days I return safely home to the boys and the fact that I can support a family of 3 on my own, that there is plenty of food and love to go around, but I don't consider those great! Where is the Great? I know I am meant for something better , something great. I just cant find it, I don't know what it is.
2013. Phhhhht!
11 years ago
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