Its raining today, a little muggy but not too bad and rain is a good change in the middle of summer? I guess anyway.... What other state interrupts your 100 degree weather with cool rain spouts?
So last night I found a box that appeared to be of antique status. I open it up to discover slides... all slides of my mom, her family when she was younger and her father. Her father that died way too soon ... I think she was 5 (I always get the age wrong) but none the less she was young, too young to remember all the butterfly kisses and too young to ever get to experience the daddy/daughter anythings. I have only seen maybe one picture of my biological grandfather before so it was cool to look at these pictures, he loved the outdoors and the pictures in these slides were beautiful, gorgeous scenery so that led into my mom looking up on the Internet some of these places she went to time and time again when she was a child. I saw her sitting on this computer, reading off all these places and showing me pictures..... it made me think about how she would converse with my father about this. She obviously was delighted to share the places she grew up experiencing.
I could at that moment sense her need to want to express more, to maybe sometimes poor her heart out, but to who? She has kept her feelings, her deepest thoughts, fears and expressions pretty much to herself. I don't see her cry it out much, only sometimes she will tell me that she had a rough night or cried at something, but after it was done. I suggested to my mom that she should blog. She is on the Internet a lot and my personal feelings is that she needs to be able to express her feelings in a healthy manner. She claims she doesn't write, but you don't have to be a writer to be a blogger I explained. you simply need something and sometimes nothing to write about. For her she is a widow, her heart left this earth too soon. She misses him more than anyone including myself will ever know. She could write all the things she wanted to get out, ramble if you will. It is healthy and I have read enough blogs to know that it is the sanity piece for most. I showed her mine... okay, so I don't get into the nitty gritty of my life, my inter most thoughts but it doesn't mean I don't want to. I am actually wanting someday to write a book and if I share now then there will be no personal experience ideas for my book :)
I also have a hired, professional quiet room where I go once a week to verbally vomit what ever is on my mind and I am revived, ready to take on the next hour, day, week before the next time I get to experience more crap to vomit out. Thanks for that Michal!
Mom,
I know it is hard to express deep, personal feelings. You don't even have to go there, but I strongly encourage you to experience a bold expression of yourself. Talk about your dog, your grandchildren, and even your pain in the rear grown children :)
I hope anyone who reads this will help me... any comments of support you may have for my mom please leave them.
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