What Will Tomorrow Bring

I have this thing... I have mentioned it before. I Procrastinate. I love being a self proclaimed procrastinator... its what works for me... I don't want to live knowing everything my life will or should bring. Spontaneity is so much more fun and I feel like life is really fulfilling a need for me to just do... I am a reactor I am not proactive... I mean really how much fun can it be to foresee the stress and BS of life.... but when some things don't follow its norm of predictability it really messes with me.
Actually there is only one thing that can be predictable... and that is that I drink! I love to drink and listen to my music... lyrics to a song have so much meaning. I know this doesn't sound good, sober or drunk... But I can really think things over when I have had a few drinks. I think it is partly that my mind doesn't care to think about the other things that have been bogging me down.

So here is a clue to my half way secret. I get into work this morning to find out I am not the only one who knows... We are a small group, we are tight (or so I thought)Everyone in my office knows and the rumors and gossip are on a roll, and I don't know the truth or the side to believe. My boss's boss made a human error by putting a meeting on my boss's calender (the same fricken calender I manage) the appt was specific about the future of my office and the jobs of my co-workers. I have been assured my job is cool, but I had to confront my boss about this, so what is a guy to do when he is on the spot...guy's lie. Period.
While part of me wants to say I gave up my yearly vacations and take my sick children to work with me for the sake of getting work done should speak loudly and save grace... I don't think it meant shit. I am pissed and bitter that I could have said "screw my job" and spent the time I have been dying to have with my kids.
BUT and that is the same "but" that carries a small dilemma of conscious with it... But what if my job is secure? What do I do? Do I still take the time off, follow my predictable spontaneous, procrastinating side and make up for my vacations and take the time off (The same time I have will be the only impression to not only my boss but his boss to save my ass?) and for what?... for it all to end up the same way in the end... maybe no job?
I wont know until next week and frankly I am not concerned about future employment because I have a strong enough faith in a higher power that things happen for a reason and that I kick ass at my job... people would be stupid NOT to hire me. But this is a strong area of predictability for me that does not sit well with me. I have a half truth sitting in my head.... what to do... what to do?

I am not quite homeless and not quite jobless, but in a matter of days this all could change. WOW... Life sure does hit ya like a ton of bricks...and I wouldn't even know about the job part if it wasn't for a human error.