Killer Beez

This past weekend I went to a rodeo. My first ever and by the time we had arrived it was pretty much over. But the rodeo wasn't the only thing that was a first for me.
I met and hung out with someone I have despised for 3 plus years. This person has never directly done anything to me, but he was an accomplice, a bad influence and nothing ever came good out of even hearing his name. Where there was drugs or trouble he was there. I used to wait for the part of the story where he came in at, because I knew without fail he was. "Beez" is what his "friends" call him and I parenthesize friends because there is NO way a friend who knew you were trying to stay clean would bring Cocaine around you or tell you about his adventures in high-land. a Friend would support that you were clean and if they couldn't kick it, then they would need to stay away.
I changed a cell phone number 3 times... somehow all 3 times the number reached him. I am not a fool I know it was given to him, I wasn't ever going to rid of the guy. I was the girl who hated the friend for obvious reasons. It was a battle I would lose every time. There would be moments when Beez wasn't around, or at least I was informed he wasn't, in fear of losing what "we" had. But the minute we had signs of a rough spot or complete drama Beez the Best Friend was always there like a blues clues handy dandy notebook. "you got troubles? go get loaded with Beez".

I learned a few weeks ago that he went out with Beez one night and while deep down my trust wasn't strong enough to trust that everything would be okay, nothing happened and everything was okay. So I decided that a meeting of us would need to happen. It was obvious Beez wasn't going away... and I'm still here too!

So I suggested we go to the rodeo... we hang out with Beez. He was shocked and question me several times if I was okay with it, and then he was ecstatic that I was serious. I met Beez, drunk off his ass. He was hitting on girls left and right, throwing popcorn and spilling beer. Not my preferred way of trying to get a better impression of the guy... that is for sure. At first my words were on the harsh side, I maintained rude and "stuck-up" but then it appeared as though he was offended, he walked away and sat in a bit of a childish pouty stature. I watched him for a few minutes to see if he was just playing a stupid drunk or if I had really offended him. I walked over to him and sat next to him.
Our conversation was enlightening for me, he explained that all those times when shit hit the fan with me and E that he was telling E to walk away, to give me the chance to cool down and both of us a chance to think clearly. He was the voice of reason, the friend... this was hard for me to take in, I felt like I was getting fed some serious crap, but I continued to talk with him. He then said something profound, something to me that never clicked before and why would it... I never gave the guy a chance. He told me that I never heard any stories except the ones where they were acting stupid or getting in trouble, he said "think about it, if I was in the hot house, would I take the fall... heck no I would blame E" why would they tell me the times that they didn't get into trouble, its not as interesting to tell someone that stuff.
The guy has dealt with a lot of crap in his life too and he hasn't made the best of choices, but we can all say that about ourselves or someone we love.
Beez and I have hugged and made up. I welcome him to hang with E, they both have my full warning to not mess this up though. They need to stick tight and support each other not hinder each other, after all if they really are good friends to each other they will have each others backs while they work through their struggles.